Pink Slip Club Nissan

Nissan moves to buyout Tennessee workers

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Nissan North America Inc. said Wednesday it will offer buyouts to about 6,000 employees at the company’s two Tennessee plants and eliminate a night shift at one plant because rising fuel prices and the economic downturn have slowed sales of trucks and sport utility vehicles.

[...]

About 775 employees at the two plants took a buyout offered last year. That package included a $45,000 lump sum payment and $500 for every year of service.

Um, I’d work for that $45,000 lump sum buyout. And that’s the worse “voluntary severance offer” — seems the current one’s even sweeter.

Job Board! Senior Database Engineer with a minimum Active Secret Clearance (Arlington, Va.)

From an ad here on Monster.com:

What a tease, Indus Corp! You allude to said Active Secret Clearance, but say no more in the job description!

Also, performs database administration and configuration management functions to include the following duties:

• Allocating system storage and planning future storage requirements for the database system.
• Creating primary database storage structures (tablespaces).
• Creating primary objects (tables, views, indexes) once application developers have designed an application.
• Modifying the database structure, as necessary, to support new system requirements and enhancements.
• Developing, implementing and maintaining database security.
• Proposing and implementing database performance and optimizing techniques and standards.
• Performing set up, troubleshooting and maintenance of Oracle replication techniques (Snapshots, Streams, RAC, etc.).
• Conducting tuning of database for optimal performance.
• Liaising with customer support to deal with database issues.

For more on how to “liaise,” and the $2,500 signup bonus, see the full job posting. 

Job Board! Organizational Alignment & Assessment Specialist (New Orleans, LA)

From an ad seen here on Monster.com:

“Manages the implementation and maintains, develops policies, procedures and performance measures, and reports on the Quality Management System, Organizational and Management Assessment Program and alignment of DM¿s value creation processes through  process management to include performance measures, analysis and process improvement.

“Prefer personnel nationally certified in quality or training disciplines such as the American Society for Quality (ASQ) or RABQSA.”

Ah, RABQSA!

Disgruntled and depressed, unite!

Lamenting journalism has become a form of its own these days. The Columbia Journalism Review has invited all of us who’ve left journalism jobs against our own wishes to join this collection.

Parting Thoughts: Jim Spencer
‘I still want journalism. Journalism just doesn’t seem to want me.’
By Jim Spencer Tue 22 Jul 2008 12:38 PM 

When the assistant managing editor trundled over to summon me to my “involuntary separation” from the Denver Post, I was working on an exclusive column about the Crips and Bloods’ turf war at the city’s supposedly family-friendly “Jazz in the Park” series. The timing came to symbolize for me what has happened to the news business. My scoop didn’t matter. Neither did the ten writing awards I won in four years and three months as a metro columnist with the Post. The late nights and occasional weekends I put in, the blog I maintained in deference to the burgeoning online audience—none of it counted.[...]

“Journalism just doesn’t seem to want me—at least not enough to pay me a livable wage with benefits and job security. That pretty much sums up the state of the industry.”

Read the rest here.

I want journalism, too. And I’m not even a longtime reporter; I measure my career in years, not decades. Even still paying off the student loans from my journalism degree. I wonder if I could write that very different letter. Talent only matters so much when the none of the Powers claim to have any money. Ditto for awards, willingness to work hard, all of it.

Job Board! Part-Time Installation Coordinator (North Shore, Ill.)

From an ad seen here on craigslist.org.
Reply to: job-766712784@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-23, 11:03AM CDT

September 2008 – February 2009 (5 1/2 month intern opportunity)

This position is perfect for a detailed and motivated person who enjoys managing many balls that are constantly in the air. Organization is critical. This is a chance to manage and improve the process and implementation of a successful and reputable holiday business.

The position is the main contact for all client, crew, product and job installation information. The hours range from 4 hours a day to 40 hours+ per week at the height of the season. You will be given the keys to drive this operation if you prove to be intelligent, honest, savvy, creative and dedicated. A short, seasonal business is tough and you will be the ‘hub’ that makes the wheel turn.

Opportunity for full-time position upon successful 2008 holiday season.

Duties
- Work Locations: from home; in the Niles warehouse and throughout the North Shore suburbs
- Must have car, computer, exceptional excel skills, internet, very professional, flexibility
- Must have access to fax machine, printer and cell and computer
- Organize and develop installation schedule and meets with crew and visits job sites each day
- Answers client calls and manages client service requests
- Bi-lingual Spanish/English would be great
- Plans and coordinates the installation schedule with the crew
- Collects and verifies the time sheets from crew and enters into the database
- Receives deliveries at the warehouse and is accountable for item verification and stocking
- Track progress of each installation and inventory installed
- Coordinate and manage the removal and storage of each job site
Pay: Two weeks training pay is $12hr and then $15+ after that.

Compensation: $12.00 to $15.00
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 766712784

Hey, I helped!

My unemployment is record breaking! I’m part of Illinois’ highest unemployment rate since 1993. And one of 6,100 payroll jobs that disappeared in June, compared with May, according to this release from the Illinois Department of Employment Security. Those of you who know me certainly understand how I always want to Do My Very Best while Making a Difference. So glad I could help push the state over the top in June.

CHICAGO –Total payroll jobs in Illinois decreased -6,100 from May to June, according to data released by the U.S. Dept. of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) and the Illinois Department of Employment Security (IDES). Thus far this year, the net job gain in Illinois stands at +7,400 as compared to -438,000 jobs being eliminated at the national level. In June, the Professional and Business Services sector in Illinois added +6,600 workers with one-third of these new jobs being created in the higher paying professional services industries. The Leisure/Hospitality sector gained +3,400 new jobs over the month. The Financial Activities sector reported a drop of -2,900 workers in June. Manufacturing lost -2,200 jobs and the Trade and Transportation sector posted a drop of -1,700 workers.

Illinois continues to lead all Midwestern states in job growth since January 2004 with 191,500 new jobs. The seasonally adjusted Illinois unemployment rate for June was 6.8%, climbing 0.4 points from May. The number of unemployed increased for the second month in a row, rising by +26,900 to 463,900 unemployed individuals, and reaching its highest level since June 1993.

 
No word about the journalism rate of unemployment, and how it is or is not baking records. We’re just not a category IDES measures at this time.

Tuesday’s my day

“Your bi-weekly call day is Tuesday,” the Illinois Department of Employment Security wrote me in this letter that arrived today. I ripped the thing open so fast it, well, ripped, hence the tape on the envelope.

Ripped envelope in haste to get at News

Called today to get certified for the IDES benefits better known as “unemployment,” or better still, as “the dole”.

I don’t understand why it has taken about a month to get certified. Benefits to start as of July 20, when my termination date, as you all know and as IDES all knows, was June 23.

Letter carefully redacted by me. Last thing I need now is to get my identity stolen.

I now have a biweekly date with the TeleServe certification system for up to the next 26 weeks.

Now on to see how long it takes to set up direct deposit.

Can’t trust that Chicago mail.

Job Board! Whiskey Brand Ambassador (Chicago, Ill.)

As seen here on craigslist. Don’t forget your headshot.

Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-07-21, 4:45PM CDT

Whisky Brand Ambassador
Do you dine only at the best restaurants and all the bartenders in town know you on a first name basis? Do you know the differences between a single malt and a blend? Do you have enough extraordinary experiences and amazing accounts to fill a novel?

If you answered yes to these questions then continue reading. This could be the job for you!

A world renowned whisky brand seeks a Chicago-based ambassador to be the face of the brand at all key events and citywide promotional activity. The primary focus of this position will be to communicate brand messages to both consumers and trade personnel via on-premise sampling, mentoring and training.

You are our ideal candidate if…

…You often find yourself with a captive audience and are constantly running out of business cards. A natural storyteller with a commanding presence, you are most in your element when you are the center of attention within groups large and small. Your energy is contagious and your enthusiasm for living life to the very fullest is inspiring.

…You have a background in the high-end service industry and/or Mixology, and you are well versed in the Scotch Whisky category, or eager to learn. Along with your enthusiasm for high-end Scotch, you have an awareness of other premium and luxury brands such as clothing, automobiles and high-end technology.

..You are looking for a career you can be passionate about, you have a keen understanding of your city, and you enjoy working nights/weekends.

Roles and Responsibilities
• Develop presentations to educate consumers and train trade personnel on Scotch whisky and our brand
• Recruit key trade staff into an advocacy program, execute training events and encourage continued trade participation
• Conduct and Host on-premise sampling events
• Schedule/Execute/Report activities and events on a weekly basis
• Manage stipend budget and reconcile expenditures on a biweekly basis
• Attain goals via scheduled & impromptu tasting events
• Create & Maintain a database of key contacts
• Provide consumer assistance to Brand Management and Public Relations teams
• Raise awareness and depth of distribution
• Develop opportunities for Brand Educational events, organize and manage the events
• Monitor and report market observations across entire Scotch whisky portfolio
• Work with market manager and local client with day-to-day program development and facilitation
• Manage internal client requests, maintaining open and effective communication

Competencies
• Excellent Communicator: Speaks and writes with a high degree of professionalism and credibility; communicates effectively with various audiences including multiple HQ/Client contacts
• Organizational/Time Management Skills: Moves projects forward to meet client objectives and deadlines; anticipates challenges; manages time effectively and operates efficiently, able to multi-task and prioritize duties
• Relationship Building/Teamwork: Maintains high level of client service, maintains positive internal and external relationships; contributes to business building opportunities; promotes enthusiasm and pride in work
• Provides Feedback on program activity and offers ideas for improvement
• Results-Driven: a self-starter who can see both the “big picture” as well as his role in the process and is able to analyze and adapt to different situations/challenges in order to attain goals

Please send resume and headshot or recent photograph to ChiBAC@legacymp.com Resumes submitted without photos will not be considered

• Compensation: Competitive
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 764278062

Sleepless Sunday

I ought to be beat, what with all the Pitchfork Music Festival I rocked out to this weekend, camera in hand. Should be so sleepy, having edited all those photos and assembled most into slideshows for my Mister, who was guest blogging on a newspaper colleague’s pop culture site.

Instead, I can’t stay put in the bed, and reading this morning’s newspaper only made me more agitated. Gretchen Morgenson was all over the NYT, with this enlightening story (spells out how the debt rules have changed in America) and this infuriating one (not a damn thing any of us can do about said changed rules).

In the a.m. – the part of morning when the sun is up as opposed to the hours merely after midnight – I’ll be able to rant more about how this bad economy is severely changing my own modest life in ways that feel so terrible and infair. I didn’t speculate on real estate, yet my rent is about to jump to a price I can’t afford anymore. Sat out investing, speculating, all of it, and my job went away. Mister and I have lived so responsibly, yet now we’re pinched, too. Bet the heads of the companies he works for/I worked for are faring much better.

The rules have changed indeed. Also the spoon of Nyquil I downed at 2 a.m. is kicking in, prompting a hasty signoff.

Public Enemy hates chronic unemployment, too

null

Public Enemy played the Pitchfork Music Festival here Friday night, on the 20th anniversary of their album, It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. In keeping with Learning New Skills, I wedged myself up front to shoot pictures of the live show, images I hope are decent. If anyone hates keeping the people down, it’s Chuck D; if anyone supports taking on multiple jobs at once, it’s totally Flavor Flav.

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null

null