Nissan moves to buyout Tennessee workers
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Nissan North America Inc. said Wednesday it will offer buyouts to about 6,000 employees at the company’s two Tennessee plants and eliminate a night shift at one plant because rising fuel prices and the economic downturn have slowed sales of trucks and sport utility vehicles.
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About 775 employees at the two plants took a buyout offered last year. That package included a $45,000 lump sum payment and $500 for every year of service.
Um, I’d work for that $45,000 lump sum buyout. And that’s the worse “voluntary severance offer” — seems the current one’s even sweeter.
Categories: Lamenting · Measuring · unemploying
Tagged: buyouts, Pink Slip Club, unemployment
From an ad here on Monster.com:
What a tease, Indus Corp! You allude to said Active Secret Clearance, but say no more in the job description!
Also, performs database administration and configuration management functions to include the following duties:
• Allocating system storage and planning future storage requirements for the database system.
• Creating primary database storage structures (tablespaces).
• Creating primary objects (tables, views, indexes) once application developers have designed an application.
• Modifying the database structure, as necessary, to support new system requirements and enhancements.
• Developing, implementing and maintaining database security.
• Proposing and implementing database performance and optimizing techniques and standards.
• Performing set up, troubleshooting and maintenance of Oracle replication techniques (Snapshots, Streams, RAC, etc.).
• Conducting tuning of database for optimal performance.
• Liaising with customer support to deal with database issues.
For more on how to “liaise,” and the $2,500 signup bonus, see the full job posting.
Categories: Earning · Laughing
Tagged: Active Secret Clearance, Job Board!, liaise
From an ad seen here on Monster.com:
“Manages the implementation and maintains, develops policies, procedures and performance measures, and reports on the Quality Management System, Organizational and Management Assessment Program and alignment of DM¿s value creation processes through process management to include performance measures, analysis and process improvement.
“Prefer personnel nationally certified in quality or training disciplines such as the American Society for Quality (ASQ) or RABQSA.”
Ah, RABQSA!
Categories: Earning · Laughing
Tagged: Job Board!
