Illinois: Keeping its ladies Healthy

I’m a Healthy Woman. See?

Illinois, I have learned in my unemployed state, maintains a program called Healthy Women to keep ladies of a reproductive age fit and healthy. Had to apply here for this card — got approved, and now I can get GYN services when I need them until my work insurance kicks in.

When I got my bad news, I hopped online to see what kind of services might be available. Health insurance was at the top of the list. The journo in me looked into food stamps, too, but I was going to net too much with uninsurance to qualify. In a way that was too bad; the book of what one can cook using only the stamps could have been a fun one.

I imagine if I remain a newspaper reporter I’ll certainly have another crack.

And I’ve been cashing checks like a sucker…

Debit cards for the unemployed

Lose your job in Illinois and you gain a debit card. Beginning Aug. 1, the state began issuing Visa debit cards to people who qualify for unemployment insurance payments.

The check is no longer in the mail, but electronically deposited directly into your debit card account.

Folks who don’t want the card can opt for direct deposit in their checking or savings accounts.

While the program is currently aimed at the newly unemployed, by Nov. 1 of this year Illinois plans to eliminate checks completely as it transitions to a paperless system.

I was tipped to this story by a former colleague who is now unemployed.

Once he wrote the news, now he’s a news source.

Odd how things work out.

But my source, we’ll call him George, still knows a good story when he sees one.

“You don’t have to go down to the unemployment office any more, either” he said.

“I found out you can file for unemployment on your computer.”

No more standing in line for hours only to be told by some sour-faced bureaucrat that you’ve been standing in the wrong line.

Read the rest of Phil Kadner’s column here. Please do – he’s my colleague now.

I’m reporting again for a paycheck — not the kind issued by IDES. Check out my stuff or set a Google Alert for “By Lauren FitzPatrick.” Please. More to come — I’m trying to wrap up day 1 before 9 p.m. That doesn’t mean the end of Termination Date, though. I know I’m one of the lucky ones, and who knows how long this streak will even last?

Job Board! CASHIERS Flying Food Fare (Chicago, Ill.)

From an ad posted here, courtesy of the SouthtownStar newspaper. Probably I ought to look there first since they’re about to be the ones to sign my paychecks. Let’s find out together what they have to offer.

CASHIERS Flying Food Fare

As seen in The Daily Southtown/Star

CASHIERS Flying Food Fare Chicago Treasures Gift Shop at the Midway Airport has Full Time opportunities available for cashiers. Requires HS Diploma or GED fluency in English and cashier experience. Must be flexible to work nights days and weekends do to schedule changes that may occur. All positions are subject to drug testing 10-year background check and fingerprinting. EOE. Fax resume to Greg Abramson 773-884-0771. If not flexible with hours of a schedule no need to apply.

Good advice: Don’t go to work for people who can’t describe in basic English what you’re going to do. Writing errors? Keep checking those classifieds.

Pee here, please

“Pick a cup, any one you want, either shelf,” the woman at the MacNeil outpatient clinic instructed me this afternoon.

I have landed a reporter job, provided I pass a urine test for drugs, which I should since I’m drug-free and haven’t eaten anything with poppy seeds in ages. Here’s hoping the sesame seeds on sushi rolls (devoured en masse last night) don’t provoke a positive for opiates.

Peeing on command in a cup is fairly humiliating, though my lady aide did her best to keep the atmosphere light and everyone’s dignity intact. Also, puzzling that my Mister, who works for a company subsidiary, had to take the test 5 years ago, and the first time I wrote for the company four years ago, I did not. Puzzling, too, they wouldn’t check for, say, something like functional alcoholism. Not that it matters to me. 

And so it goes. Who said corporate America makes any sense? Certainly not this girl.

The pee test didn’t take too long. I had some idea of what should go down since I once profiled a really funny woman who oversees the court-mandated drug and alcohol testing at the courthouse in Bridgeview, Ill., (Cook County Fifth District). She laid out for me all the tricks people tried on her throughout her years as the PP Queen, and said the protocol has evolved so that she actually has to watch it come out of the person during the test while holding the cup herself. They’d drop stuff in, fake the peeing, try the old sliparoo…

I feel lucky I got to shut the door.

Clinic calls the employer directly with the results, cutting out this middleman.

 

Pink Slip Club California

And in California:

State workers get work hours cut in half, others laid off in state budget mess

Story Updated: Aug 2, 2008

By Jose Gaspar

Denis Monsibais is an Examiner at the Bakersfield Department of Motor Vehicle office where she has worked for 19 years. Friday she and 8 other co-workers were sent home early after having worked half a day.

“I never thought it would come to this. We always got threats and this one really did come through,” said the mother of two.

Numerous state workers throughout Kern County have either been laid off or had their work hours reduced as a result of an Executive Order by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Statewide more than 10,000 part-time and seasonal workers lost their jobs. An additional 200,000 could have their pay cut to the federal minimum wage of $6.55 an hour with full salary reimbursed once a budget is signed.

Schwarzenegger said the move was necessary because legislators have failed to approve a state budget and the state needs to build up sufficient cash reserves to avoid a cash crisis in September.

But state workers question why they should be the ones to bear the brunt of the budget crisis.

Here’s the rest.

Look to the East

I live in Chicago, where I’ve worked for about five years now. Posting’s been slow this week because I’m in Philadelphia, giving my hometown job market a shot while staying with my parents.

My sister is interviewing this week, too, so I find myself handing out interview advice to her about things like how to politely indicate you will not answer an inappropriate question, how to find out what’s wrong with the company or office and what kinds of questions to ask to show you’re really interested.

Turns out the Philadelphia Inquirer just eliminated some Sunday sections, I learned this weekend, but I’ll go take a look and introduce myself anyway. Ditto for the People’s Paper, whose tabloidy style might better suit my writing anyway.

The media market’s weird here, too, though the news is a blast here with a new mayor, ridiculous homicide stats, chronic malaise at the child welfare department and all kinds of TV reporter drama. Inky has relatively new ownership but also a couple of writers I particularly enjoy. When I think about the sources I’d have in this city thanks to an extensive network of relatives who do all sorts of things in life, I begin to believe I’d be stupid to report anywhere else.

Fingers crossed.

Job Board! Manager, Regulatory Affairs (Philadelphia, Penn.)

From an ad posted here on philly.com:

The Manager, Regulatory Affairs will report to the Executive Director, Regulatory Affairs and will be responsible for certain projects in development and play an integral role in the regulatory affairs activities for the company.

Among the “Required Skills, Experience and Keys to Success”:

An understanding of the current Regulatory environment and demonstrated ability to perform in it

Positive attitude, assertive, ability to work with minimal supervision

Ability to adapt to changing priorities in an intense area of drug development

Microsoft Office

Time management

Comfortable working and communicating independently

Excellent partnering, strong interpersonal skills and leadership abilities

Also, a willingness to capitalize the word, “Regulatory.”

Wait, are you supposed to have Microsoft Office, or just know how to use their copy?

 

Doesn’t say which company is hiring; The Merwin Group is doing the recruiting. The Merwin Group claims to be “a force in targeting attracting and placing select Impact Players, Building the heart of your business.[...]We know where to Strike, reaching every Impact zone. Utilizing innovative, comprehensive solutions we attract and place the exceptional talented Impact Players.”

 

But how can a fancy employment agency expect to make an Impact when its employees can’t write?